Permit your stepchild to define the connection they would like to have with you. Regarding how they want to proceed 19, express your interest leave the ball in their court. 
- Don’t try to rush in and force a relationship. Just say,”I have no interest in replacing your mom/dad, but I do want us to have a close relationship. You can think of me as an aunt/uncle or an adult friend. How does that sound?”
- Should they show no interest in getting close to youback off for a short time. They might need time to take the relationship.
- Once you get them talking be sure to make occasional eye contact and participate in the conversation to show you are listening.
- Ask open-ended questions that keep the conversation going, like”So, what got you interested in that?”
- For instance, should they like baseball, throw a ball around in the backyard. Give them a crash course, if you enjoy woodworking and teach them to make something.
What a little one calls you’ll be contingent on their special tastes, but you certainly shouldn’t need they call you”Mom” or”Dad.” Take a talk and decide. Let’s consider a name we like.”
To forge a bond with your stepchild, you will need to be forthcoming. If you play your cards too near your torso, you may be distrusted by them. Distrust can hinder your chances of bonding, so be simple and honest. 
- You might say,”Let us begin by getting to know one another. Is there anything you’d like to know about me?”
- Even if they don’t have any questions upfront, say something like,”My door is always open for those who have questions or want to talk. Okay?”
- Can they back away if you put a hand on their shoulder? If not, then they’re probably cool with it.
- You may also ask them how they feel about affection. Something like,”Is it ok if I give you a hug?” Should help you discover their position on the matter.
- This does not mean you won’t have a voice– just let your partner be the one who verbalizes any punishments.
- If they wish to involve you at the decision, have that talk from the kids.
- Do not speak negatively about the kid’s parent facing the child.
- Should they have a story to share about their other parent, listen and respond positively.
- Your relationship with your stepchild may not be”ideal.” However, by enabling things without forcing them to grow , you’ll have a much greater chance of building a bond.
Set guidelines that were firm and clear about what you expect in your household and have these principles apply to everyone, whether they reside there fulltime or just on occasion. 
- By providing stepchildren the same principles and expectations, they really become a part of the family rather than feeling like outsiders anytime they visit.
- If they’re living there full-time, both you and your spouse must sit down together and go over the rules and expectations for your household.
- Allow space for the child and biological parent to bond. Do not crowd your stepchild or anticipate to always spend time together. Give them a chance without you being present, to be. 
- This also shows that you honor the preexisting relationship and permits them to cultivate the bond they share with their parent.
- Make communicating a part of daily life. Talking about matters is important in most households blended families. Create a habit of talking everything through rituals and patterns everyone is on the same page. 
- For instance, everyone might share some part of the daily life during dinnertime. Communication through hobbies or actions helps you get to know each other without the pressure of a face-to-face conversation.
- If the child is immune to communication with you, try using personal stories to tell them more about you. They may come around once they know you better.
- Create space for everybody. Blending households is never an easy thing, but try your best to consider the children in any household changes you make. Ensure that all children have a space of their own if they need to share rooms. 
- You might help them feel included by asking what paint colour they would like in a bedroom or taking them shopping for decor.
- Also, give them some freedom to express themselves, like hanging a sign reading”Daisy’s Room” to maintain their space.
In case you have an issue with your spouse or their other parent do not take it outside in them.
Your stepchildren behave like your children or may never become close to you. This does not indicate that you are a step-parent that is bad or you have failed. Simply strive for a positive, civil relationship.
- Use humor to diffuse tension when it arises. It doesn’t need to feel like a burden, although this circumstance is challenging. Stay light-hearted and open-minded.
Marrying somebody who has children can be a challenge, but it may also be an immense boon. As a step-parent, you have to serve as friend and mentor to the child–you do not need to attempt to step in as a third parent. Concentrate on building rapport with your stepchild and fostering trust and mutual respect. Additionally, keep in mind that this can be a major adjustment for yourself and the kid. They might never accept you how you’d enjoy, but only do your best to create a civil relationship .